Everything is Normal

Somehow as children we build a certain amount of magic into our lives. As long as we remain a child, Christmas is enchanting, taking a trip to the zoo is a safari, and if you press the button on the wall you will instantly receive whatever you wish. Princesses are mysteriously happy and Princes have no fears.

This same mentality runs along the path toward marriage. Dreams swirl around the idea of engagement and married life is bliss. And although all other things lose their haze, for girls marriage clings tightly to it, until they are wed.

I have never really had dreams about my wedding day. I always thought it was silly to dwell on something so obscure. I sat in dorm rooms for years with girls who surrounded themselves with bridal magazines and had pre-made "folders". As if the trends would stay the same ten years later, when they actually walked the aisle. Craziness. For these girls, the haze remains. .and it's thick. . until one day when reality sets in.

I am here to say that getting engaged and getting married are normal. They are part of a continued pattern of life. They do not stray in color or design. When you are in the moment of engagement you are still wearing your old jeans, and thinking thoughts that are just you. You don't magically become this alter-ego, as some might suggest.

When you get married you will move into marriage with your same rubber-bands, picture frames, paper-work etc. . .that is currently in your bedroom. You don't magically change everything.

Although it is WONDERFUL and amazing to "know" and be loved and have that sweet security, there is not and untraceable haziness. It is all quite natural.

When it's time to get engaged it just feels like the next step. You will feel totally comfortable being yourself with your future spouse and know that they love you no matter what. Not so much gush-gooey feelings, more deep trust, enjoyment and commitment to each other. You realize that they meet your needs and you meet theirs, and even if that doesn't work, you are committed to love them anyway.

It is incredible, but far more tangible than everyone tells you.

It's kind of like graduation. When you graduate from college, especially, you build it up in your head with expectations of the way it will feel. When you are actually there you don't feel any different. You are still you, thinking you thoughts. And the magic seems to fade into reality. A good reality. .none-the-less.

That's it, I just wanted to muse about the strangeness of life for a moment.

You see, I am currently engaged and marrying Ragan on September 22nd.

-be